America's Sin, America's Problem

by Adena Harmon

 

Let me introduce myself. I call myself Adena M'lynn – a survivor of childhood sexual trauma, an ex-convict, a psychiatric patient, and a person striving to liberate myself from the relentless nightmares that haunt my mind and compel me toward actions of devastation. I know I have talents that help keep me in a somewhat good state of mind, yet it never lasts. In my wake, like America, I  both create and destroy, leaving a trail of chaos, broken promises, lost friendships, and abandoned relationships that reverberate through my entire life. I have had a constant life of self-harm in ways most people would never think a person could do to themselves.

 

Before I jump into deep water, I wish to clarify that I don't claim expertise in resolving the intricate challenges that afflict our nation. Nevertheless, I've been a silent observer of the heartrending tragedies that infiltrate our schools, homes, workplaces, sporting venues, churches, and every intersection of human interaction. I define "abuse" as an act of physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, neglect, and/or abandonment performed against another that causes harm.

 

Diving in…

For those curious about America's trajectory, our prison systems – both State and Federal – offer a grim forecast. The offenses that lead individuals to incarceration today will, over time, transform into norms embraced by society. Consider the shifting perspectives on marijuana laws, evolving from criminality to cautious acceptance, even legalization. This is an example, not an opinion on whether it should or shouldn't be legalized. I am merely pointing out one of many evolutions of what is/was a law that led to the incarceration of thousands of men and women in our country. 

 

But what lies ahead? The looming specter of gun violence casts an increasingly long shadow. Our law enforcement officers wrestle with the ambiguity of not knowing whether a routine traffic stop might escalate into a lethal encounter, or serving a warrant may lead to a potential violent confrontation. The mental traversing a treacherous landscape from point A to Z. Officers navigate the delicate terrain in between, where a single misstep could result in injury or death, either for themselves or the occupants of the vehicle or anyone they may encounter on the street. With each new shift, they gear up, expecting the worst while praying for safety to return home to their family.

 

Yet, the reach of gun violence extends beyond law enforcement. Attendees at concerts, moviegoers, restaurant patrons, our children in schools, kids playing in the parks, and places of worship all find themselves equally vulnerable to its unpredictable grasp. As the headlines regrettably recount school shootings, the suggestion to arm teachers surfaces. Many educators, however, grapple with a paradox – a lot of people in society doubt a teacher's ability to influence in positive and healthy ways the young minds they are entrusted with, while concurrently entrusting them with the authority of holding a firearm in the classroom.

 

The relentless tide of gun-related fatalities has begun to desensitize a lot of Americans. The journey towards indifference is well underway. We were once shocked by mass shootings, some still are, but for others, it just becomes a story no different than a sports score. The headlines once read "School Shooting" now has moved from the front page to "just" another story. How terribly sad for our country.

 

Call to Action…

Now is the pivotal juncture to rouse America from its slumber. How long can we avert our eyes from these stark realities? My conviction is strong. Our nation hovers at a crossroads, compelled to assess whether our present trajectory genuinely serves the interests of all its citizens. My prayer is that resolute voices will emerge, echoing "no more." Let's get to the cause.

 

I want to stress that my intent is not to advocate the cessation of gun and ammunition sales in this discourse. Instead, I urge introspection into the recesses of our prison system. There, we can unearth the "why" that drives those incarcerated – their narratives, their histories. We need to plunge into the depths of darkness of broken humans. I've walked beside countless women who've shared a similar journey as mine, women who've endured unthinkable abuse from family, teachers, clergy, counselors, bosses, and strangers on the street, yet they remain silent about their past abuse to survive the next minute or a day. They, like me, learn to navigate the screaming soul, soothe the pain, and lockdown the moments of horror that flow through their veins. Most will never even begin to understand that they live in an emotional state of survival mode.

 

As I delve into a topic that I'm acutely familiar with – the "why" – I still find myself struggling with the trauma at 63 years old. It took me years to ask the question that has caused me turmoil. I mustered up the strength to ask the most painful, yet enlightening question earlier this year, and my dad confirmed my past. My first abuser was my grandmother's boyfriend, George. Then other men came to visit her home for good drinking times and sexual gratification.

 

The secret, the lies, and the shame became who I am. I became a silent victim of someone else's "why."

 

Behind bars, abuse becomes the prevailing "why" for most inmates. Shockingly, statistics indicate that a staggering 80% of[PWC1]  incarcerated women have experienced sexual abuse. Even in confinement, the horrors persist. This number reflects those brave ones, who found their voice to speak about their past. Most, like me, are unable to voice, even after countless trips to psychiatric hospitals and jail, we remain silent. I couldn't break the silence; it was the glue that held me together.

 

The narrative of our nation is in dire need of revision. If we are to better address the "why" of incarcerated women and men, a shift in treatment is required. The assumption of past abuse should dictate the approach taken the day a person is taken into custody. Some men and women will not be able to answer the question of abuse. Yet, treatment is still needed. The years of lies, silence, fantasy, anger, self-harm, and denial often remain intact, coated with a new layer of survival mechanisms crafted to maintain emotional coherence to survive the prison system.

 

Our prison mental health treatment programs are broken. They are understaffed and underfunded. The staff on the front lines are navigating the broken system and so many inmates never receive the treatment they need. A new system with more therapists than guards, for at least twenty-five years, would render a possible positive outcome.

 

Also needed is a true wellness plan for when inmates are released back into society. It's time to learn the "why" hopefully, before lockup occurs would be ideal, but if lockup does come, and it will for more people than not, let's assume she/he comes with a background of abuse.

 

Work from a new angle. The current angle in the prison system is failing. In essence, we are faced with a nation struggling with a genuine problem. The path forward demands an empathetic stance, one that acknowledges the pervasive impact of abuse and trauma. By extending a hand of understanding to those incarcerated, we initiate the journey toward healing, both for them and our society.

 

We also need to start in the schools. We need to begin to identify the behaviors of possible abuse of a student. Our teachers are smart. Teachers often spend more time interacting with children than a lot of parents. This is not a reflection of "bad parenting" but rather a sign of our time. Most parents are doing the best they can do with the energy they have left at the end of a workday, the stress of bills, relationships, and more. And again, they too, may have the brokenness they struggle with. Mental health treatment is needed in every school. We also need more training to identify the possible abuse of a student.

 

Mental health needs to be a priority in this country. We run the danger of laws and the classification of criminal acts changing like moving targets. The crimes of today will become acceptable because as reflected in the news, crimes have become more horrendous. We are watching our nation become a playground of sick behaviors far worse than we can imagine.

 

The reality…

By the time you've finished reading this, another sexual assault has occurred. People are suffering their "why" in public against one another. Every 98 seconds someone is sexually assaulted. Females comprise 90% of the rape victims.  Of those victims, 48% were at home, sleeping, or doing other activities. Try to imagine being awakened, raped, then having to pretend nothing happened to fall back asleep.

 

The night passes, only to eat breakfast the next morning, look at your abuser, and then gear up for school or work. In time those being abused will internalize it as something they did, they may cry for help in devastating ways. The victim may see themselves as unlovable, and unworthy, and begin to take on a role as an abuser, whether towards themselves or against society. Like me, they will leave a trail of destruction.

 

When people reach the prison system, they are at the most vulnerable place for change to happen. Yet our prison systems are currently designed to house and punish. Yes, there are facilities where therapy can happen, but not every inmate will be offered the help he/she needs. Mental health treatment needs to be made a priority in the prison system.

 

The hope…

Address the "why" and help heal the broken and vulnerable. We can still reverse the trajectory.

 

This is America's sin. This is America's future.

I was almost 5 years old.