“Finding Me”

 by Adena M’lynn

Woman with a sad face in a mirror reflecting different sad faces. Fragments of self

I wake up— 
but it’s not my bed.
Not my hands.
Fingernails shorter.
Breath heavier.
I think… she was here.

Mouth moves—

the laugh is too loud.

Eyes blink wrong.

The mirror is

someone else.

I copy her smile anyway.

Good mimic.

Good girl.


Thoughts pile—

no—spill.

I don’t know if I’m remembering

or being told what to remember.

Feels real.

Doesn’t mean it’s mine.


I try to gather myself—

but myself scatters.

Fingers of smoke.

Pages torn out.

Locks without keys.


Will I go back—

into my body?

Or will my body

crawl in here with me,

into the dark place

where the names blur

and the days slide

out of order?


I ask—

Who am I?

It echoes.

The answer

comes back

in different voices.


I think I’m still searching.

I think I always have been.

Maybe

one day

I’ll find the heartbeat

that feels like

home.

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