Both Sides Now

As I reflect on my journey from who I was to who I've become in Christ, the lyrics of "Both Sides Now" take on a deeper, more personal meaning.

In my younger days, I was like the "angel hair" and "ice cream castles in the air" - innocent, idealistic, and perhaps naive. The "feather canyons everywhere" represented the vast, unexplored potential of life that stretched out before me. I looked at the world with wide-eyed wonder, like gazing at clouds and seeing endless possibilities, but under dark clouds.

But as I grew older and experiences shaped me, those same clouds began to "block the sun." Life's challenges, disappointments, and hardships "rained and snowed on everyone," and I realized that the world was not always as idyllic as I had once believed. There were "so many things I would have done, but clouds got in my way" - obstacles and setbacks that hindered my plans and dreams.

Yet, even in the midst of this disillusionment, I sensed there was more to life than met the eye. "It's cloud illusions I recall, I really don't know clouds at all" - I began to recognize that my previous understanding of the world was incomplete, and there were deeper truths to discover., the world I grew up in was learning to keep secrets.

This realization was like the "moons and Junes and Ferris wheels" - moments of beauty, joy, and magic that hinted at a greater reality. I initially approached love with the same starry-eyed idealism, believing that "every fairy tale comes real." But as with the clouds, I eventually saw love's other side - the "just another show" aspect, the pain of goodbyes, the need to protect oneself from vulnerability.

It was in this place of disenchantment and searching that I encountered Christ and found new life in Him. The "tears and fears and feeling proud to say 'I love you' right out loud" took on a new meaning as I experienced the depths of God's love for me and learned to boldly proclaim my love for Him in return.

As I began to live for Christ, some "old friends" acted "strange" and said I had changed. Indeed, I had - but while "something's lost," so much more was "gained in living every day" with Jesus. My perspective on life shifted dramatically; I now saw it "from both sides" - the temporal and the eternal, the earthly and the heavenly.

Yet, even in faith, I recognize that "it's life's illusions I recall" - there is still so much mystery, so much I don't fully grasp. "I really don't know life at all," in the sense that God's ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts higher than my thoughts. But that's okay because I trust in the One who does know it all, and I rest in His love and wisdom.

Looking back, I see how God was at work in every stage of my journey, even before I knew Him. The "clouds" and "love's illusions" were not just obstacles, but opportunities for growth and revelation. And now, as I continue to look at life "from both sides" - through the lens of my past experiences and my present faith - I stand in awe of God's redemptive hand, grateful for the grace that has brought me this far and will lead me onward still.

adena m’lynn